It’s common knowledge that coming
out isn’t always easy for the LGBTQ community, but for some it may be harder
than others. In a 2009 Northwest Asian Weekly article, “When it’s stifling to
be out: Gay Asian American men say cultural values keep them from coming out,”
author Vivian Luu highlights the difficulties of identifying as homosexual in
the Asian tradition. Some aspects of Gayle S. Rubin’s “Thinking Sex” and Theo
Van Der Meer’s “Gay Bashing: A Rite of Passage?” can be applied to the issues
Luu brings up in her article. Both articles discuss the reasoning why people
find homosexuality to be wrong and the ways they deal with it, which can be
applied to how the Asian community reacts to homosexuality.
Luu (2009) uses the examples of
four young homosexual Asian men to show how most Asian families feel about
homosexuality. Though these men love their families, they feel that coming out
to their loved ones is not an option. One man believes that it’s the strongly
conservative values that come from growing up in Asia is what keeps his parents
from accepting his lifestyle (Luu 2009). When a biological goal of life is to
reproduce, any action that does not lead to that end would be seen as unnatural
or at the lower end of the sex hierarchy (Rubin 1993, 5).
Having grown up in an environment
where homosexuality was feared, where the “ever-present, ever-watching
governments also condemn homosexuality,” (Luu 2009), at their age, it’s hard
for Asian parents to overcome the stigma against homosexuality that they grew
up with. In Luu’s (2009) article, one of the young men tells us that “any
deviation from established norms is considered taboo,” being gay breaks that
expectation of getting married and having children. Not doing any of these
things is seen as failure, which in their view makes homosexuality wrong and
dangerous. According to Gayle S. Rubin, this negative view places homosexuality
on the “wrong” side of the spectrum of good and bad sex (Rubin 1993, 5). This
wrongness is not something that is easily accepted in Asian culture.
Without being able to identify with
or understand their homosexual sons, Asian parents, similar to hate crime
perpetrators, fear homosexual behavior, a type of behavior they do not understand
(Van Der Meer 2003, 61). The concept of anything other than the typical
heterosexual couple can be so confusing and foreign that these parents assume
this behavior is wrong; they consider it dangerous and feel the need to
distance themselves from it, so they disown their children, cut them off
financially, or may even send them off to be “corrected” (Luu 2009). Parents
insist that this is the right thing to do. This is analogous to gay bashers
carrying out hate crimes because they believe that homosexuals have done
something wrong, and they must protect and distance themselves (Van Der Meer
2003, 60).
The hesitation of coming out in
Asian culture is not unfounded. Homosexuality is seen as “bad sex” (Rubin 1993)
in most cultures, but it is especially harsh when combined the idea that
homosexuality is a failure, and that failure is something to be corrected or
punished. These punishments, although they may not be violent, are still wrong
and deeply rooted in fear and ignorance (Van Der Meer 2003).
Works Cited
Rubin, Gayle.
"Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of
Sexuality"
from Social Perspectives in Gay and Lesbian Studies
ed. Peter M Nardi and Beth
Schneider. 1993
Van Der Meer, Theo. “Gay Bashing: A Rite of Passage?”
from Culture, Health & Sexuality,
Vol 5. No 2, Homophobia and Anti-Gay Violence: Contemporary Perspectives
(2003): 153-165
Luu, Vivian. "When it's stifling to be out: Gay Asian American men say cultural values keep them from coming out." Northwest Asian Weekly. Northwest Asian Weekly, 03 Jul 2009. Web. 9 Feb 2012. <http://www.nwasianweekly.com/2009/07/when-it's-stifling-to-be-out/>.
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ReplyDeleteBeing an Asian American myself, I know first hand how Asian communities react to homosexuality. Growing up in an environment where homosexuality was feared, it is harder for Asian parents and those of older generations to let go of the stigma against homosexuality that they grew up with. Like may Americans, as John D’Emilio states in, “Homosexuality and American society: An Overview,” Asian parents believe that homosexuality is a “behavior that offended common decency, violated accepted norms, and threatened welfare of society.” (23) I agree that the way some Asian American’s treat their gay sons or daughters; they might as well be hate crime perpetrators themselves.
ReplyDeleteAsian American parents, unable to fully understand the complexities of homosexuality, see it, “as evidence of moral weakness, criminality, or pathology,” (D’ Emilio, 23) because this is what they were taught. It is not easy to be taught all your life that something is wrong and then accept it when your son or daughter is of that wrong. I’ve seen instances in which Asian American parents distanced themselves or disowned their own children for being homosexual, as is discussed by Luu in this blog. So I agree that the punishment Asian American parents inflict on their sons or daughters for being gay is wrong. Although they may not be verbally bashing their children or physically hurting them for being what they believe isn’t normal, completely ignoring them or disowning them is just as hurtful.
D’Emilio, John. "Homosexuality and American Society: An Overview" from Sexual
Politics, Sexual, Communities in the United States 1940- 1970. Chicago, Ill: Universityof Chicago
Press, 1983. Print.
I agree with this blog post in its mentioning of the difficulty Asian American men have to go through in the process of “coming out.” Reputation has always been a number one concern for Asian Americans. The family name and the honor that it upheld is something that Asian Americans like to preserve. Anything that may bring shame to the family name is intolerable. Hence, Asian Americans are very restricted in there mobility toward full self-expression. This post mentions how the government itself is against homosexuality. Therefore, it is a difficult stigma to break through due to years of dog mentation of the ideology that the sole purpose of humans is to reproduce. Thus, if homosexuality interferes with that natural process, there mentality is that it must be condemned. Consequently, an article by Martin Manalasan, titled, “Searching for Community: Filipino Gay Men from New York City,” encompasses the difficulty Asian homosexuals have in their strive for full self-expression in society. The article mentioned, “When I asked the Filipino gay men how they differed from other Asian gay men, many Filipino informants said that they did not have the same kind of issues such as coming out and homophobia.” This statement validates that Asian men do have a lot of cultural ideologies that interfere in being expressive with their sexual identities. Luckily, Filipino society was tolerant and didn’t have restrictions as many Asian societies did (Manalapan, 1993). Therefore, Asian men do have to deal with family reputation, government alienation of homosexuals and several other cultural issues that continue to handicap them from being who they are.
ReplyDeleteManalasan F. Martin IV. “Searching for Community: Filipino Gay Men from New York City.” GLQ: A journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies. Routledge Chapman Hall. 1993.